Immortal
by S3ab3ar
Summary: InuYasha mourns the loss of his companion and the burdens of immortality.


Title: Immortal

Author: S3ab3ar

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha nor do I get compensation for this work of fiction.

* * *

InuYasha often found himself dwelling over the past.

He made endless amounts of efforts to rid his mind of thoughts that distressed him. Yet, this time around they lingered and the haunting ghosts of the past refused to settle down. It became impossible to breathe and function day by day—the pain of seeing his wife age before his very eyes and, then, go as do all moral beings once the time of their expiration comes.

The ache in his chest did not compare to that of any he had lost in the past. Losing Kikyou was an experience that forever marked him, but given the circumstances of how everything ended, InuYasha was able to let go once the time came for her to go to the next world. The support and presence of Kagome made everything easier to overcome and heal. Yet, losing her slowly through the years as she became older felt more agonizing, for he remained the same and she did not. His sentiments and feelings of love never did change; he still held her arthritic, crone hands through the night as they slept side by side and he eventually became her caretaker once Kagome reached her limits; weak body, fractured bones, her senile mind slipping in and out.

The morning Kagome died something inside him died alongside her. The overwhelming solitude consumed and submerged him; he did not know how to cope and escape this feeling. Kagome not existing was possibility the hardest challenge he encountered to date. Death is so damn permanent, the living are left to mourn their loved ones lack of existing.

One day, being one of those horrible, heavy and slow days, he went to where he often saw Kagome appear like magic when she was a teenager: the old dried well.

InuYasha sat by what remained of the well, completely empty and powerless.

* * *

In the last year or so since the death of his brother's wife, it has come to Sesshoumaru's attention of the reckless behaviors committed by InuYasha. He has never been the type to be close or bother to care enough about the likes of the Hanyou. They live separate lives. Yet, he managed to muster the barest of amounts of empathy for his brother's loss and grief, the taiyoukai decided to pay him a visit out of this newfound generosity.

Not so much to pay his respects—had that been the intention he would have done it a year ago when the events recently occurred—but, moreso, to put an end to the Hanyou's carelessness and preserve the legacy of the dog youkai clan.

It was not difficult to track him down. Sesshoumaru found InuYasha in the same hiding spot he always wandered off to whenever trouble was afoot.

The grief spilling over the hanyou's features reminded Sesshoumaru of the time InuYasha's human mother passed and his brother was but a mere child at the time, left alone to grieve and question the sudden passing.

There are reasons why Sesshoumaru made no real effort with humans. Aside the world of difference in culture and the parallels in ways of thinking vastly different from one another, the emotional responsibility one must carry as youkai becomes a burden. Among youkai, life continues as it is, but among humans, time evolves and the weight of change and mortality suddenly becomes apparent.

Therefore, Sesshoumaru, does not bother with the lot. Although, in the case of the human girl, Rin, he looked over her for a number of years until he decided to settle her in a secure village once she became a woman to live out her purpose—work, marry, bear children, continue her lineage and age—before she aged out of that option.

As hard as the abandonment of Sesshoumaru felt at the moment, she eventually slowly understood the decision to part ways was not optional, but inevitable. She never saw him again after that, but sometimes she could sense his presence from time to time. Maybe watching over her or paying a visit? That thought alone gave her a source of comfort and after 40 plus years she briefly could recall how his face looked like, but the sound of his voice was forever lost.

Rin was a child when she crossed paths with him. Had she been a full grown woman, he would have not bothered pitying her and tolerated her for as long as he had.

His brother, on the other hand, continuously made the conscious and foolish decision of involving himself in human affairs. He insisted on carrying these pointless relationships to end up alone once more as soon as he outlives them.

Sesshoumaru never understood his father's fondness for humans—and he never will—along will his brother, who shares this weak trait. Seeing InuYasha in this abandoned state stirred an unfamiliar emotion within him. He could not place what it is exactly, but deciding against his better judgment to leave, he remained there in silence.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, he said, "This is the nature of humans. Choosing to be a part of their existence is but a fleeting moment for youkai. Refusing to accept this reality is a fools game."

InuYasha's expression was unreadable. He did not say anything for a while and when he replied, no trace of arrogance or anger colored his tone. "Say what you say, you can't pick who you love."

"Possibly." He briefly closed his eyes and, then, trained his line of vision on the half demon. "I, Sesshoumaru, cannot identify with these notions of human sentiment. Perhaps that is why we are not on par with one another."

"I don't care." InuYasha stood up. He carefully dusted himself off and then, turned his attention toward the youkai. "Kagome was more than my wife. She was my companion and friend for many years. I don't regret my time with her or even with Kikyou."

"Do you not see the emotional toll you are burdening yourself with attaching yourself to a living being that you will always outlive? Why bother repeating this maddening cycle."

"Why are you here telling me this? You don't give a shit about me or what I do."

"This Sesshoumaru needs not to justify nor explain anything to the likes of a halfbreed," he said, nonchalant. "It is but a mere suggestion to end your suffering and a word of precaution. We are the last of our kind. The last of the great dog demons. Choosing humans for companions will extinguish our lineage."

"The old man having me, a half demon, was already the end of our kind. I can never produce a heir that is a pure dog demon. They will always be half demons. Besides, I can't change who I love. I don't care if we are all what's left. If I can do it again, without hesitation, I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

Not the least bit surprised by InuYasha's response, the taiyoukai shrugged his shoulders. "Fair enough. What more can be said with that response alone? I digress."

Sesshoumaru turned to leave, deciding he had about enough exposure to InuYasha to last him for the next few months. InuYasha watched as his brother's white clad figure slowly disappear into the distance. It occurred to him that he will never have a brotherly bond like Kagome had with Souta, Kaede with Kikyou or even Sango had with Kohaku. The raw bitterness between Sesshoumaru and InuYasha will always exist. Hell freeze over first before any improvements are made in the sibling's relationship. As sad and pathetic as that is, the reality of his brother still remaining, still sticking around makes eternity seem a tiny bit less alone. 'A detestable, but familiar face is better than nothing at all I suppose,' he thought to himself before rolling his eyes at the mere suggestion a life with Sesshoumaru is better than nothing.

The End.


End file.
